you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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