No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
