she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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