I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I want a musical about memes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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