Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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