Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
