Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
