how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
