i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She bit a glass in half.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
