No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize