1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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