I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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