i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
