I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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