if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
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So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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