I never want to see another naked old woman again.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize