wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
