Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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