summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
