So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
