it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My feet surprised me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
