I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
