Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
