arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
