I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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