not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
