peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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