The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
