so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
