She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
