I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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