Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i out mim tonsoeep
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