i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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