Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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