you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
