Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
