okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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