So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
whose ass print is on the piano?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
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