Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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