I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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