I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
