Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
