How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
