so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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