i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
