i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
