You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
