the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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