I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
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