u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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