I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
