How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night