I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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