Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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