we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
