on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
