I am in a vortex of obligation.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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