I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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