I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
