so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
