so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
