we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
