Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
