I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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