Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
