I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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