Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
