Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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