toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
