Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
