The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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